Today's Joke

poppytree Sun Sep 07, 2008 6:15 pm

A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country.
~~~
Well, there's a very simple answer.
~~~
Nobody bothered to check the oil.
~~~
We just didn't know we were getting low.
~~~
The reason for that is purely geographical.
~~~
Our OIL is located in
~~~
The North Sea

~~~
=
=

=
=
and

Today's Joke GrumpyGarfield

Our
DIPSTICKS
are located in
Westminster !!!

Any Questions ???
NO? I didn't think so!!

Guest Sun Sep 07, 2008 10:00 pm

good one

Andrea Sun Sep 07, 2008 10:57 pm

Craftworker Sun Sep 07, 2008 11:01 pm

Scotty Sun Sep 07, 2008 11:38 pm

LOve it!!! Laughing

Scotty Mon Sep 08, 2008 8:02 pm

Subj: INNER PEACE
> This really works!
> I am passing this on to you because it definitely works,
> and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives.
> By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you
> too can find inner peace.
>
> Dr Phil proclaimed, 'The way to achieve inner peace is
> to finish all the things you have started and have never
> finished. '

So, I looked around my house to see all the
> things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving
> the house this morning... I finished off a bottle of White
> Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a package
> of Oreo's, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription,
> the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of
> chocolates.
> You have no idea how good I feel right now.

Craftworker Mon Sep 08, 2008 9:33 pm

That is so funny.

cubbie66 Tue Sep 09, 2008 12:56 pm

poppytree Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:10 pm

NELSON MANDELA

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer
when he hears a knock at the door.

When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man,
clutching a clip board and yelling,

'You Sign! You sign!'

Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts.

Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man
starts to yell louder,

'You Sign! You sign!'

Nelson says to him, 'Look, you've obviously got the wrong man', and
shuts the door in his face.

The next day he hears a knock at the door again.

When he opens it, the little Chinese man is back with a huge truck
of brake pads.

He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling,

'You sign! You sign!'

Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he pushes the
little Chinese man back, shouting:

'Look, go away! You've got the wrong man. I don't want them!' Then
he slams the door in his face again.

The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he
hears a knock on the door again.

On opening the door, there is the same little Chinese man thrusting
a clipboard under his nose, shouting,

'You sign! You sign!'

Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts.

This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the little
Man by his shirt front and yells at him:

'Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the
wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?'

The little Chinese man looks very puzzled, consults his clipboard,
and says:

(It's a beauty)

(Wait for it)

(Get your best Chinese accent ready)

'You not Nissan Main Deala?'