NHS Direct advice

Craftworker Thu Nov 05, 2009 10:47 pm

I went to a dinner party last night, where I and other guests enjoyed

copious amounts of alcohol.

I awoke this morning not feeling well, with what could be described as
flu-like symptoms; headache, nausea, chills, sore eyes, etc.

From the results of some initial testing, I have unfortunately tested
positive for what experts are now calling Wine Flu.

This debilitating condition is very serious - and it appears this is not
an isolated case.

Reports are flooding in from all around the country of others diagnosed
with Wine Flu. To anyone that starts to exhibit the aforementioned
tell-tale signs, experts are recommending a cup of tea and a bit of a
lie down.

However, should your condition worsen, you should immediately hire a DVD
and take some Nurofen (Nurofen seems to be the only drug available that
has been proven to help combat this unusual type of flu). Others are
reporting a McDonald's Happy Meal can also help in some cases. If not,
then further application of the original liquid, in similar quantities
to the original dose, has been shown to do the trick.

Wine Flu does not need to be life threatening and, if treated early, can
be eradicated within a 24-48 hour period.

Cheers!

NOTE
If you find you are complaining a lot, it may be that it has mutated
into Whine Flu. This is particularly common in men and can quickly
spread to their partners where the symptoms are detected as a serious
case of eye-rolling.